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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26513473">The End</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Majsasaurus/pseuds/Majsasaurus'>Majsasaurus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Action, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Character Death, F/M, Grieving, Hurt No Comfort, Nara Week 2020, Parents trying to cope, This is really sad, War</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:22:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,449</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26513473</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Majsasaurus/pseuds/Majsasaurus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“If you forgive me, I will let you kill me.” </p><p>Temari stared at Shikamaru, barely understanding his words.  </p><p>  <em>I will let you kill me.</em></p><p> </p><p>In which Temari stands on the battlefield in a bloody war, with a mission and goal. To kill Shikamaru.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nara Shikamaru/Temari</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The End</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>If you recognise some of the text, you might have read it on tumblr before. I wrote the first draft of this story in May 2020, inspired by @/trubwlsum's artwork, and uploaded it onto tumblr. Since then I have rewritten this and made it longer.</p><p>Uploaded as part of Nara Week 2020, day 1, prompt: war.</p><p>Thank you @notquitejiraiya for beta-reading!</p><p>Mind the tags, this is graphic and sad.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Some things are worse than others. </p><p>Like the shadow of your loved one, years after the marriage shattered into pieces. </p><p>Like the lingering sensation of touch where he used to touch you, where his hands once travelled. </p><p>Like the dreams destroyed by different opinions, a move out, by a move from the whole damn country back to where the heart truly belonged. </p><p>But the worst out of everything?  </p><p>The piercing, stabbing ache after losing their child – way too early, in a freak accident, in a way no shinobi should ever die. </p><p>In a way Shikamaru should have been able to prevent. But he didn’t. He had misjudged and Shikadai had died. </p><p>Shikadai’s death was the reason. The reason Temari moved out of Konoha. She couldn’t <em> bear </em>to live in the house where there once lived three, but now only two broken parents. </p><p>Suna became her safe haven, the only place she didn’t expect Shikadai to come around every corner. The only place she didn’t imagine his voice – his laugh. She melted down the metal from her Konohan forehead protector to get rid of it forever and burned her hand in the process. She never looked back after that. </p><p>Never looked back at the life she and Shikamaru once had. </p><p>Only inside her deepest desires had she dreamed of a life with Shikamaru again, a life by the border of the Nara forest with her baby boy in the next room. Those desires were a rare treat she allowed herself to imagine only once or twice, right before going to bed. No one slept beside her. She was all alone, with only the ghost of her husband by her side. </p><p>Then the war came.  </p><p>And as Temari was staring right into Shikamaru’s eyes on the battlefield, where shinobi once again were painting the ground red with blood of the innocent and evil, she saw the husband she once loved so dearly. </p><p>He looked almost exactly the same as five years ago when Temari last saw him. He even wore similar clothes. Funnily enough even she wore the same purple shade she had favoured for many years. The difference from a family photo was that Shikadai wasn’t here and that Temari had blood splattered over her hands and arms, making the grip around her fan slippery. </p><p>She had a mission to kill Shikamaru, yes. Kill the mastermind behind the plan that utterly destroyed the first legions of Sunese shinobi sent north in Fire Country’s beautiful pastures. The pastures were gone now. What remained was stone and gravel after way too many earth jutsu, leaving the landscape destroyed. </p><p>
  <em> You can do it.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Of course I can do it. I know him better than anyone. I know his weakness.  </em>
</p><p>She stared at Shikamaru, and as her mind was clouded by anger and heartbreak, a new, more dangerous emotion entered her.  </p><p>Revenge. </p><p>
  <em> He is the reason my baby died.  </em>
</p><p>If Shikamaru had been faster, if he had been sterner, not so <em> fucking lazy and let Shikadai go out there alone</em>, then maybe, <em> maybe </em>this could have been prevented. </p><p>“Nara”, Temari said. </p><p>“Tem…” </p><p>“Don’t call me that!” </p><p>Shikamaru sighed. </p><p>“You know my orders”, Shikamaru as he crouched down in the trademark position Temari knew all too well. </p><p>“As you know mine”, Temari said and brought her fan behind her back. </p><p>Shikamaru threw a gaze over his shoulder, as if to check if anyone might be listening to them, before he would say what he was about to say. There was no risk of eavesdropping this time around. The fights around them were brutal and the noise ear-shattering. For once Temari is a step before him in his racing mind. </p><p>“Don’t even think you can win me over”, she said. “I will never forgive you, Shikamaru. Never again.” </p><p>An explosion rang somewhere to Shikamaru’s right, loud enough for his right ear to cry out with the beginning of a tinnitus, but he didn’t move. Shikamaru’s eyes were cold as ice and hard as steel, a gaze Temari had never received from him before. Those eyes were supposed  to beam with love. Happiness. Temari would even prefer the look of grief after Shikadai’s burial on his face than that. She knew, however, that her eyes radiated the exact same hostility. Hate.  </p><p>For a split second Temari wanted to lunge forward and let herself fall into his arm, hug him to never let go and cry into the nape of this neck.</p><p>Five years of torment and loneliness after their child died. Five years without the morning snuggles, the hugs and the banters. Five years without the shogi games and walks among deer and the joy of raising a child together. </p><p>Temari didn’t move. It was as if time had stopped and the law of physics had frozen. <em> Shikadai is dead because of… him.  </em></p><p>“You will die tonight”, Temari said and it was a miracle her voice didn’t break. Shikamaru loosened his hand and something fell out, dangling from his grip. </p><p>His wedding ring, which he used to wear around his neck before. Luckily, Temari managed to keep the tears inside, even after she realised what it was, even if she had to grip around her fan even harder. </p><p>She knew what was engraved inside the gold of his ring.  </p><p>“Tem…” </p><p>“I said, don’t call me that!” Her voice was almost breaking. </p><p>“If you forgive me, I will let you kill me.” </p><p>Temari stared at him, barely understanding his words.  </p><p>
  <em> I will let you kill me.  </em>
</p><p>That hard gaze wouldn’t budge from her. </p><p>“Forgive me for not being there when he needed me”, Shikamaru continued. “Forgive me, Temari, please. I have asked your forgiveness for so many years. In letters. In phone calls. Can’t you give it to me?” </p><p>Something in his eyes softened for a second. </p><p>“I knew you wanted to win in our chunin game”, he said. “You always wanted to win. And I will give you that. I will give up now. Forgive me and let me give up.” </p><p>“No, you <em> don’t give up!” </em>Temari yelled. “You fight against me, right now, here!” Shikamaru leaned his elbow against his knee. </p><p>“Forgive me.” </p><p>“No!” </p><p>“Forgive me.” </p><p>“Fight back! Fight back, you coward, fight back!” </p><p>Temari wanted to raise her fan, wanted to slash through him, but he just stood there, crouching, with the wedding ring dangling in his hand. </p><p>They wanted once to grow old together.</p><p>They wanted once to see their son grow up. </p><p>But they got neither. </p><p>Temari took a few steps forward, feet feeling heavier than ever before. Her fan weighted in her hand, as she raised her arm. Shikamaru still hadn’t moved from his position. </p><p>“Get up”, Temari commanded and his hard eyes looked up at her.  </p><p>“Shikamaru!” someone yelled and Temari looked up. Her gaze found Choji a good distance away from them. “Get up! Run away!” </p><p>“Choji wants you to fight back”, Temari said, completely calm. She didn’t have to look at Choji to know he had began running towards them, stumbling in a similar way Shikamaru once had stumbled in a panicky dash to get to Asuma – to save him. </p><p>Choji tried the same. To save Shikamaru. Maybe it was seen from hundred metres away already, that Shikamaru had given up. Maybe Choji knew that no matter how fast he ran, he would never be fast enough – faster than Temari’s sharp edge – and yet he tried.  </p><p>“Shikamaru, get away!” he shrieked. </p><p>“I think…” Shikamaru said, looking up at Temari. She had now gotten quite close to him. “I  think neither of us really got over Shikadai.” </p><p>Temari smashed the base of her fan down the ground in front of Shikamaru. He didn’t even  flinch. </p><p>“I think so too”, she said. “But that won’t stop me.” </p><p>“I know it won’t”, Shikamaru said in a pathetic chuckle. “Nothing ever stopped you, not when you got your mind set on something.” </p><p>Another explosion, this time very close to them, set off and this time Shikamaru was sure he became deaf in his right ear. His thoughts weren’t running at all, the white noise in his head was deafening and for the final time he was looking up in those beautiful teal eyes. </p><p>The eyes which he once had seen in his own son, the eyes glistering with eagerness as Shikadai had learned the Shadow jutsu, and equal excitement when he had learned the Wind jutsu. Shikadai had been like a gift from above for them, talented and intelligent. </p><p>Shikamaru bid farewell to those eyes. </p><p>When Shikamaru closed his own eyes he had given his goodbyes to Temari’s appearance, to her blonde hair flying around her dirty face, to her eyes, to her face, to her everything. </p><p>He felt her putting her arms around him, almost as in a hug. She must have left the fan in the ground where she has smashed it down. So, no fan. </p><p>“I wish this didn’t have to happen”, he heard Temari whisper into his ear. Her words were faint and it sounded like he was inside a soundproof bubble – probably the deafness in one of the ears doing this. “I wish Shikadai never died.”</p><p>“Me too”, Shikamaru said. He didn’t hear the sound of smooth metal of a kunai being untied from Temari’s leg. </p><p>“I used to love you”, Temari said. “And, somewhere deep down, I think I still do.” </p><p>Shikamaru smiled against her skin. He felt something wet on her cheek and he didn’t even know if it was his own or her tears. </p><p>“I never stopped loving you, Tem”, he said. “Forgive me. For everything. For not saving  Shikadai. For not being able to patch up what broke inside us.” </p><p>Now he felt the sharp tip of the kunai at the nape of his neck. Just one sharp movement from Temari and he would die by her hand. </p><p>“Shikamaru, <em> no!” </em>Choji screamed. </p><p>“Forgive me”, Temari whispered back as one single tear found its way down her cheek. </p><p>Then she pressed the kunai into Shikamaru’s neck. He made a slight gasp before turning  heavier against Temari. This is not what winning is supposed to feel like. He had given up. In  truth, he had given up a long time ago. Years ago, already, when he found himself having to  make up plans that ultimately would at some point kill the one he used to love so dearly. </p><p>This was the way he was ready to go. To finally let Temari win. </p><p>“Oh fuck”, Temari whispered as she let his body fall on the blood-soaked ground. </p><p>She had no time to remain by Shikamaru’s dying body and ripped her fan out of the ground, unfolded it to command a tornado to push Choji away from her.  </p><p>Choji’s screams were so loud, so heart-breaking that Temari began yelling herself, only to have <em> something </em>drowning out the sound of his. The hurricane forced Choji to move to the side, but not even his brutal strength could match the wind. </p><p>The hurricane brought Choji to a good distance away from Temari. She turned around and looked down at Shikamaru. He was still alive, just looking at her with the final strength inside him. </p><p>“Say hi to Shikadai”, Temari said as the tears burst loose. She fell on her knees by Shikamaru’s side, avoiding the dying gaze and the pupils that now were staring at nothing at  all.  </p><p>She remembered when she had seen Shikadai’s empty eyes – oh heavens – it had been too much, <em> this </em>was too much. </p><p>Had she really done it? Had she really killed Shikamaru? Had she finally gotten the revenge  she for so long had dreamt of? </p><p>“Shikamaru?” she whispered, the world spinning around her. </p><p>She <em> had </em>done it. </p><p>She really <em> had </em>killed him.</p><p>She <em> had </em>gotten the revenge she always wanted.  </p><p>
  <em> I have to get up. I have to leave now.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He is dead.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I killed him.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You have to get up!  </em>
</p><p>Temari forced her hand to move forward, towards Shikamaru’s slightly loosened fist. Her fingers gripped around the wedding ring as a sob ripped from her throat.  </p><p>It really was his old wedding ring. Its golden colour was stained with red, fresh blood and Temari twisted it in her shaking hands to get a look at the engraving on the inside. </p><p>
  <em> S&amp;T  </em>
</p><p>That engraving with their initials had been done right after their wedding. </p><p>And then, when she twisted it further, she got to see the little add-on they engraved a few years after their marriage. </p><p><em> Dai. </em> </p><p>
  <em> Our little boy.  </em>
</p><p>War was no place for emotions. The tears flowing down Temari’s cheeks had to do it without a show.  </p><p>
  <em> Farewell, Shikamaru.  </em>
</p><p>Temari pressed her palms against the bloody ground, forcing herself to stand up. She straightened her back, ready to run away, ready to get to the next victim of this <em> bloody pointless war, </em>when – </p><p>She gasped as a kunai dug itself into her stomach. </p><p>“Temari!” </p><p>Temari looked up at Ino, coming running at her with full speed with Choji behind her. Overwhelmed by grief over having killed Shikamaru, over their dead son, over the damn pain  in her belly as her muscles cramped around the kunai Temari stumbled backwards. </p><p>The final thing she saw was Ino’s flying blonde hair and a glint of sharp metal.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There were so many bodies. Bodies of all ages and sizes, from both nations, littering the  battlefield. The smell was awful of rotting body parts, of faeces and burned flesh. The sight  was heart-breaking. </p><p>And when one walked into the middle of the battlefield, right where the centre of the battle had taken place, one could find two bodies side by side. </p><p>Shikamaru and Temari, both with still, dry eyes staring at nothing and limbs cold and rigid, laid beside each other. </p><p>They never got their happy ending. Or maybe they did get their happy ending, after all. If one wanted to believe, maybe there was a life after death where the family of three could  see each other again?  </p><p>A life where Shikadai came home with that glint in his eyes and a bright smile, where Shikamaru and Temari could sit on the porch, close enough that their bodies touched each other and just take in the calm. </p><p>One could only imagine. </p><p>Their cold hands were dangerously close to each other. It looked like someone almost had  placed their hands that close, only a centimetre or two from each other, in a lover’s pose. However, it was all unintentional.  </p><p>Shikamaru’s fist was loose. </p><p>Temari’s hand was as good as open. </p><p>And inside Temari’s hand, there was a golden ring splattered with blood, and inside that ring  two things were engraved. </p><p><em> S&amp;T </em> and <em> Dai. </em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>THE END</b>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you all for reading and for any kudos and comments!</p><p>You can find me on twitter @majsasaurus and on tumblr @unioncolours!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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